One gadget to rule them all

We are constantly looking for the perfect gadget, for a better device to fit in our modern way of life, that device that improves our lives the most, and if possible to do everything and connect with everything. Guess what? We have it.

Once you get it, it is fully personalized for you, it always updates by itself, it comes with the posibility to install whatever app or plugin you can think of and it doesn’t require an internet connection. And yeah, it is open source. For the not so tech people out there, open source means it is free, forever. And the more people work to improve it, the better.

Are you charging your smartphone three times a day? This device can last for several days without being charged, and the best thing is that it comes with the posibility to charge it using whatever means you have at your disposal: sitting on the grass under the sun, listening to good music, going for a jog, sleeping, reading a book, hiking in the nature, or many other ways. You can even combine charging methods for better results, like hiking and sleeping under the stars or reading a book while laying on the grass. No sun available? Some users charge it by dancing in the rain. It works. The best method though, appears to be sleeping, exactly what we do every night, right? So there is no need to carry a charger. Perfect for us.

It has the best to-do list app, always leading you in the direction you seem to desire the most. You feel like spending your days doing nothing? It keeps seeking opportunities for you to do just that. You are interested in making more money? It leads you on paths to make more money. You are a biker? It leads you on the way to owning and riding more bikes. With this device, you will never forget what you want to do. It is constantly adjusting to your true needs and desires while completely ignoring everything else.

It even updates your status, so you don’t need to manually do it on facebook. Had a bad day at work or feeling like crap lately? It will automatically update the status and post it on your face. Just met the love of your life? Everybody will know just by looking at your face. Pretty cool, don’t you think?

I was saying earlier that you can install whatever application you need, whatever plugin you can conceive. It is true. It works with everything. There are endless possibilities.

Meet the best gadget in the world. It is called the Brain. Yeah, the one we get for free at birth. No manual updates required, it learns by itself when you use it. It grows better and better, with every use. It learns from every experience without you having to type in some command. And by beeing open source, anybody can work on a way to make it better and share the results with the world. It has a hard case, so you can take it with you everywhere. It is waterproof too, so you don’t need to fear the rain. And guess what else? It is forget proof. Somehow, you always have it with you and you simply cannot forget it anywhere. Isn’t that something?

Trying to take a picture of that wonderful moment in your life and store it on your phone but you just ran out of memory on the card? Use the Brain. It comes with a preinstalled app called #Memories#. It’s automatic, and it’s always updating to show you the most relevant content. The best thing is that the more you use this app, the more storage space you get. If you only use it for two or three pictures now and then and for reminding yourself the street you live on, it will expand to meet only these requirements. But if you want to store more than just the basic, use it and it will grow. You don’t care about some moments in your past? Don’t worry, the #Memories# app has an automatic process that discards what is unimportant for your life without you having to manually search and delete those items. It’s called forgetting. By the way, you can store your best moments in life in any format you want. There are no limitations or video card requirements.

Want to take a selfie to share it to your friends but you don’t have a selfie stick? And then you tell to yourself that you definitely need to buy this thing so you can take selfies everywhere and later wonder why you don’t remember those places you’ve visited? Well, there is a brain app called #Thinking# that is installed by default and it helps you find solutions to problems you might encounter in life. Maybe you can use it to come up with a solution to take that selfie without a selfie stick. Or better, I can recommend you a plugin to the #Thinking# app. I prefer to use this instead. It’s called the #Why?# plugin. It comes in different flavours, depending on the version of the Brain you’re using: #Why the fuck should I do that?# or #Why on earth should I ever buy a selfie stick?#. Combine it with the #Memories# app and you might come up with a better solution to your selfie problem.

So far so good. But what about viruses? Everyone is worried about viruses. Well, I can tell you that there is no such thing as viruses when it comes to using the Brain device, though we can argue a little bit about stupidity. But this is not a virus. It’s just that some devices were never upgraded. That’s all.

You see, some people like to have all kinds of complex apps and plugins installed on their Brains. If you can configure them to get more out of your Brain, perfect. But most people hate configuring their devices. They take them as they come by default, install some basic apps and that’s it. They’re set. It’s the most simple way for the user. Others even go further and install or ask someone else to install them the #Autopilot# app. It comes under many names, like #Be a Sheep# or #Going with the Herd#, but it does the same thing. It leads the user through life without too much deviations, without too much of a fuss. So, stupidity is not a virus, it’s just a lifestyle. An easy one. The Brain is the most user friendly device ever invented. You can do whatever you want with it, use it in ways you cannot imagine, but if you want to keep things simple, you have the possibility to configure it to stay out of your way. It’s just a matter of choices and preferences.

As I said, there are no viruses for this device, but it still has a firewall, and the most important app this firewall uses is the #Fear# app. It prevents the user from doing actions that endanger his own life. For example, after a negative event, the firewall connects with the #Memories# app to store important sensory cues as warnings or dangers. It is always updated automaticaly. If you are an advanced user, you can play with the #Fear# app a lot and even install some plugins. The #Fear Everything that’s Not in My Bubble# plugin prevents the user from doing much at all. The #No Fear# plugin, well, you get an idea of what that does. I don’t think it is used by many people. It is actually very dangerous especially for the user that hasn’t upgraded his version of the brain to an acceptable level. These are the extremes that I am talking about, but you can adjust the settings to match the kind of life you live.

Another very important advantage of the Brain is that it can connect with any other device we use. It does not matter what version or operating system the other device has. You can connect with anyone, anywhere. I even heard about that plugin called #Telepathy#. They say it might replace today’s phones. I don’t know too much about it and never saw someone using it, but I think that if we use our Brains a lot, the new upgrades will have that plugin installed. Who knows what the future will look like?

From time to time, users experience conflicts with other devices, but it’s actually a matter of the plugins one uses. For example the #smart-ass# plugin, the #I don’t give a fuck about anyone# plugin or the #because I say so# plugin. The last one is mostly used by parents and teachers to force apps into children’s new Brain devices. Some other plugins that may cause more or less troubles to the regular user are the #BC/AC# plugin (Before Coffee / After Coffee) or the #I don’t feel like working today# plugin. But you can always uninstall them and even find better ones to replace these if you really want to. There is one good plugin you can use in most of the situations in life and it’s called the #BS detector# (bullshit detector). Think of it more like a filter for the daily life in society. This helps you cut the crap and focus on what trully matters for you.

Sometimes your device might get cluttered and feel like everything is messed up inside there. Don’t worry, leave it resting for a couple of hours or even days if it’s that bad and it will get back to normal use. It always does, and everytime it does that, it gets back better. As I said, it upgrades itself after each usage. To speed up the decluttering process, you can use the #talk with a friend# plugin. So far, it is rated with the best results.

As you can probably understand already, the more you use this gadget, the better it gets, unlike other devices you’re using right now which degrade more and more as you use them. You don’t have to run manual updates, it does that by itself. Use it and you will see. More than that, to help us upgrade our devices, nature started a very funny and interesting contest. It is called survival. The main idea is that the ones who find the best way to put their devices to use, win. There are infinite ways of doing that. You can play this game by yourself, or you can always connect with others in bigger and bigger networks to come up with better game strategies. There is no right or wrong. Choose your own way to play the game, but know there are no cheats. It’s all in the mastery of the Brain and its apps and plugins.

It is also reported that the frequent use of this device might change your life for the better. Try it now. If you are not happy with the results, you can always revert back the changes or even stop using it. It’s that simple.

And be sure to remember it is free and it always will be.

Have fun surviving!


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