I go out leaving the door slam behind me. The midday sun is too bright for my eyes as I walk down aimlessly on the narrow street. I feel like I’m floating around from one side of the street to the other. My muscles are sore. Actually my whole body feels like lead. Waking up this morning was a battle between mind and body. I know I should go home and get some sleep because I’m tired as hell. I also know that I’ve got a lot of things to take care of before doing that.
But I could care less! Everything is too much now. Too many people, too much work, too many things to take care of. With no time to spare for friends, hobbies or myself, all I wish now is to press that big imaginary pause button, so I can get some rest and forget about any responsibility. I could sleep for an entire week.
How did I get here?
Well, now that I think of it, I realize that I wanted this. I have the life that I was dreaming about a few years ago. The only difference is that I didn’t know it would be so tiring. Back then, I didn’t know that changing my life would be so hard or that living my dream would be so challenging. I thought that everything would be perfect. I couldn’t have been farther from the truth.
That’s the problem with dreams. We only dream about the good sides. We never dream about the multitude of tiny details that make every day hard. We never see the bad sides of our dreams, the plans that never work out, the unexpected situations that arise. Having the life of your dreams is no easy task. It’s actually very demanding. It requires a lot more work, a lot more effort than the usual routine that most people are caught in.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. It was my choice. And I like the way everything turned up to be. I love this mess I’m in right now. It’s worthwhile. I’m constantly learning, constantly improving, always moving forward. And then there’s benefits. That’s what we’re all in for, isn’t it?
Living my life the way I want has a lot of benefits, but there’s always a price to pay. It is far from being comfortable. I can’t keep everything running if I just stop doing the things I did to get here, and then more. I need to keep going, without much rest. But I also need to find a balance. And this is the hard part. Right now I’m just drifting from one extreme to the other without rest. Other than that, everything’s fine.
Oh! There’s one more thing. Now I wish more of my life. I want to go to the next level. The next dream-life. And that only means more work.
But I guess that’s just how evolution works. We always want more. We always want that dream-life. Or the next one. We just don’t know what that actually means. We don’t know what we’re getting into. We never will, and that’s ok.
Before going back to dreamland, think about this: from there, you cannot see all the nasty details of having the life of your dreams. They will persistently be revealed to you with each step you’ll take on the path of turning your dreams into reality.
So don’t expect a long and sweet holiday. Prepare for a fight. Because there will always be one.
And, before setting off in this journey, ask yourself how bad do you really want it.
Are you ready to fight to the end?
If the answer is no, then I wish you sweet dreams.
But if the answer is yes…
Have fun, my friend!